How to Cope With an Uncaring Mother

An "uncaring" mother can mean many different things.

Steps

1. Realize that your mother is uncaring for a reason. It is possible she has a past that she has not been able to reconcile and is finding it difficult to grow up and accept that she has responsibilities toward others now.
   
2. Accept that you cannot change her. Only she can change herself. You can leave literature about for her to read but you cannot lead her to read it.
   
3. Accept the situation for what it is. Whatever she is uncaring about, there is always someone who will care. Find that person. Be sure, however, that your relationship does not destabilize the one you have with her because it may threaten her.
   
4. Tell her how you feel. If her uncaring attitude is not as a result of a mental illness, drugs, or some other altered state of mind, she just might try to work with you. Having it pointed out to her may be enough to snap her back to her senses.
   
5. Remember that you cannot control the situation. Rather, express your concern and unhappiness.
   
6. Don't beat yourself up for her not caring. Life goes on regardless of whether or not a mother has cared for us adequately. Successful people look inside themselves and learn to care for themselves before all else, and that is where you can and should source your strength from.
   
7. Find somebody else who does care. A father, a grandparent, a sibling, a friend's parent.
   
8. Sometimes, people who become parents don't actually like children, yet when you are grown up, the relationship will change for the positive.
   

Warnings

• Look at what you say is "uncaring" - is it really uncaring or are you just upset about something at this point in time?
  
• Face the question: Is my mother truly a self-centered person? If you have trouble answering this, ask a friend of the family, someone who wasn't brought up in the home. If the answer is yes, you need to accept that this is a broken person. Stop trying to make her happy. You are wasting your time and worse, you are wasting your life. You need to look for friends and lovers who are healthy, giving, reliable, and not manipulators. Your mental health and your future relationships depend on breaking free.
  

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