We are all human and have flaws. Even if your physical appearance or social skills aren't what you wish they were, that doesn't have to stop you from being confident. Here's how to believe in yourself.
Steps
- Make a list of special talents you have, or things you do that are good—morally or otherwise. Focusing on your attributes helps distract you from those parts of yourself that you think are flawed. It doesn't have to be a specific skill or activity either; it can be an approach or an attitude that you champion through life. Do you always stay calm, cool and collected, even in hurried situations? Are you very patient with people? Do you always see the humorous side of things? Are you always there for your friends?
- Find your passion. Whether it's baton twirling, martial arts, classic cars, or basket weaving, you will feel confident pursuing that endeavor by recognizing what you enjoy doing the most. More importantly, you'll be enjoying your progress.
- Choose a role model, whether someone close to you, or someone famous. Think of the qualities that the role model displays, whether physical, emotional, moral, and/or spiritual. Work towards acquiring those.
- Focus on others. Try not to focus negatively on what others think of you. Instead, focus more on what they think of themselves, and try to help them become happier and more confident.
- Accept compliments gracefully. Don't roll your eyes and say, "Yeah, right," or shrug it off. Take it to heart and respond positively ("Thank you" and a smile works well).
- Know that you have important things to say and do. When you feel strongly about something, speak loudly and clearly and make eye contact with people. Let go of your fear of coming off as annoying or overbearing. People will judge you all the time, and usually they'll misjudge you anyway, so why bother trying to cater to their opinions at all?
- Take care of yourself. Eat a healthy diet and get enough exercise. Don't abuse your body, don't overload it, and don't deny it any of the things it needs. At the same time, don't obsess. Buying all the moisturizers, creams and conditioners will not bring you closer to who you want to be. Those things are only band-aids and make up. Confidence comes from within. Take the time to reflect on your life and do some emotional maintenance. In order to be confident, you must value yourself and understand that your well-being is important.
- Stick up for yourself. If people put you down (and not in a good-natured, joking way), then let them know that their opinion of you is not held by everyone--most of all yourself. This may, at first, be hard to do. But once you stick up for yourself a few times, your confidence builds and you get more adept at it.
- Celebrate your individuality. If you know you've got something special or different, then embrace it—don't hide it! That's diversity! You may wish that you were taller, or shorter, skinnier, stronger, whatever the case may be. But you need to realize that, if you were like everyone else, then you wouldn't be who you are. "What am I?" you ask; the answer's easy: You're a unique individual who is capable of growing and learning.
- Improve your posture. Having good posture can actually make you feel more confident.[1] Don't slouch or slump your shoulders. Make sure that your back is straight, your shoulders are square, and your chest is puffed out slightly (but stay loose, otherwise you'll appear stiff and uptight). Good posture also helps with deep breathing, which helps with feeling calm and relaxed.
- Take action. It is surprising how powerful the simple step of taking an action can be. And the action you take need not be something extravagant or grand. It could be something as simple as tackling a task that you have been procrastinating, such as writing a letter or tidying up that corner of the garage that has been out of control for the last several months. It could also be something as interesting as taking a class in yoga, art, interior design, anything that interests you that you haven't done yet. Whether large or small, action brings with it exhilaration, enthusiasm, and the confidence that other things can be done as well.
Video
Tips
- Don't compare yourself with other people. It is a wasteful pursuit, and you could be doing something better with your time and energy. Know what you, personally, want and expect from yourself, and focus on attaining those things. The things that you want and expect from yourself don't have anything to do with how you measure up to others.
- Consider attending leadership classes. Learn to take control of things. If you are in school, then consider running for a social position, such as a president of a club. The ability to lead others and respond to others' behavior under your leadership will help to bring you self confidence.
- Listen to your inner monologue—your inner voice. In situations where you believe you lack confidence, realize that your inner voice is telling you negative things. You need to retrain that inner voice to be positive in those situations.
- Speak positively at all times. When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment.
- Slow down all of your movements including your walking speed. Quick movements and actions are the product of someone who is nervous and not in control.
- Write down a detailed, thought-out list of values which are important to you. Then you can observe everything that happens in your life through these values and evaluate how to react to events. By judging yourself according to your own values, rather than everyone else's values, you're giving yourself expectations that you can actually achieve.
- Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
- Ask for what you want. If everybody's going to the movies, and most people in the group want to see a particular movie, but you'd rather watch something else, speak up! There's nothing wrong with voicing your opinion, and it doesn't have to mean you're making a demand. Simply reminding people that you're an individual with your own preferences is a big step forward. Even asking someone to help you do something will help.
- Do something for yourself. Do one thing you have been wanting to do, but are afraid someone else will not like. Dye your hair, get that new look, have a treat that you enjoy, go on holiday....whatever you do, do it for yourself, and practice not worrying what anyone else thinks about it.
- Be yourself don't be afraid to ask questions!!!
- When you look in the mirror don't look for flaws, instead smile and tell yourself you look pretty today.
Warnings
- Stop being a perfectionist. Nothing and no one is perfect. High standards have their place--when performing surgery, for example, or designing a building--but when applied to other areas of your life (your appearance, your home's appearance, your hobbies, your handwriting, whatever) you're practically inviting anxiety and insecurity into your life. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have any standards at all; it's when you start stressing out about the details to the extent that you're always criticizing yourself that it goes too far.
- Remember that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Being confident means recognizing your inherent value. Being arrogant means thinking you're more valuable than other people.
- Stay away from negative people, ones who always complain about everything in their lives or those who point out the smallest flaws in you with intention to hurt you.
- Don't expect these steps to work overnight. Confidence must gradually be developed by a pattern of positive thinking and action; it can't be faked.
- While helping others can be a source of confidence, for some people it can be a symptom of lack of confidence, especially when it comes to basing your self-worth on how much you do for other people. It's noble to want to help others, but it's something you should do because you want to, not because you feel you have to. The greatest acts of kindness are those done by choice, not out of fear or guilt.
- Dont get over confident.
Related wikiHows
- How to Build Self Confidence
- How to Feel Confident
- How to Go for Your Dreams
- How to Accomplish a Goal
- How to Stop Feeling Self Conscious
- How to Be Yourself
Sources and Citations
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